“Hey.”
It’s the most common opener in digital communication. But not all “heys” are created equal.
In this experiment, I sent 100 variations of “Hey” to real matches on dating apps and tracked:
- Response rates
- Quality of replies
- Conversational engagement
- Emotional resonance
The goal? To find out which openers actually work — and why.
Spoiler: Some versions got 95% response , while others were met with silence or ghosting.
Let’s break down what worked, what flopped, and why word choice matters more than you think .
Why You Should Never Just Say “Hey”
While it may feel like a safe opener, “Hey” alone is bland, generic, and forgettable .
Here’s what happens when you just say “Hey”:
- It feels lazy
- It gives no context
- It offers no personality
- It doesn’t invite conversation
And in the world of online flirting, first impressions matter — especially when you’re starting with just one message.
So how do you make that single word — “Hey” — stand out?
You add flavor.
The Top 10 “Hey” Variations That Got Responses
These openers had the highest reply rates and engagement quality during the experiment.
Key Metrics Tracked:
- Open rate
- Reply rate
- Depth of conversation
- Time to reply
- Follow-up initiated by recipient
Here’s what worked best:
1. “Hey 👋 – Your profile made me curious.”
Response Rate: 83%
Quality of Replies: High (many asked follow-up questions)
Why It Works: Shows genuine interest and curiosity.
2. “Hey 😊 – I hope this isn’t too cheesy, but your bio caught my attention.”
Response Rate: 76%
Quality of Replies: Warm and engaging
Why It Works: Adds vulnerability and compliments without overdoing it.
3. “Hey! Thought I’d finally say hi — love your vibe.”
Response Rate: 74%
Quality of Replies: Positive, often led to deeper chat
Why It Works: Friendly, confident, and slightly playful.
4. “Hey 👀 – Did we match… or am I dreaming?”
Response Rate: 72%
Quality of Replies: Fun, often flirtatious
Why It Works: Light humor makes it memorable.
5. “Hey — saw your name pop up and couldn’t resist saying hello.”
Response Rate: 70%
Quality of Replies: Often reciprocal and warm
Why It Works: Slightly romantic without being aggressive.
6. “Hey there — first time messaging you, but I’ve been meaning to say hi.”
Response Rate: 68%
Quality of Replies: Friendly and inviting
Why It Works: Feels intentional, not random.
7. “Hey — I’m clearly not ready for this level of charm
Response Rate: 65%
Quality of Replies: Playful and engaged
Why It Works: Self-awareness builds trust and likability.
8. “Hey – quick question: where did you get that smile from?”
Response Rate: 62%
Quality of Replies: Lighthearted and flirty
Why It Works: Combines “Hey” with a clever twist.
9. “Hey – if this is too cheesy, feel free to ignore.”
Response Rate: 60%
Quality of Replies: Many laughed and responded warmly
Why It Works: Humble and self-deprecating — disarms pressure.
10. “Hey – I hope I didn’t send that at a bad time.”
Response Rate: 58%
Quality of Replies: Respectful and thoughtful
Why It Works: Shows empathy and awareness of her schedule.
The Worst “Hey” Variations (That Got Ghosted)
Some “heys” didn’t just fail — they triggered immediate silence.
Here are the top 5 duds:
1. “Hey.”
🚫 Response Rate: 12%
🚫 Common Reactions: One-word replies, ignored messages, or instant ghosting
🚫 Why It Fails: No personality, no effort, no invitation to continue.
2. “Hey beautiful.”
🚫 Response Rate: 15%
🚫 Common Reactions: Cold responses or no replies
🚫 Why It Fails: Too forward too soon — feels impersonal.
3. “Hey 😉”
🚫 Response Rate: 18%
🚫 Common Reactions: Ignored or short replies
🚫 Why It Fails: Emoji-only or emoji-first messages feel cheap or forced.
4. “Hey — what’s good?”
🚫 Response Rate: 20%
🚫 Common Reactions: Rarely replied to, often seen as lazy
🚫 Why It Fails: Feels like a script, not a sincere greeting.
5. “Hey girl.”
🚫 Response Rate: 22%
🚫 Common Reactions: Mixed — some found it off-putting
🚫 Why It Fails: Tends to sound dated or overly casual.
What Actually Makes a “Hey” Stand Out?
From analyzing hundreds of messages and replies, these elements made a “Hey” successful:
A great opener doesn’t just say “hello.” It says:
“I see you, I appreciate what I see, and I want to talk more.”
How to Craft a Better “Hey” Based on Her Vibe
One size does not fit all. Here’s how to tailor your opener based on her tone and style.
She’s Reserved or Professional
Try: ✅ “Hey — wanted to say hi after seeing your profile. Hope this isn’t too sudden.”
✅ “Hey 👋 – your bio gave me a reason to start a conversation.”
She’s Playful or Confident
Try: ✅ “Hey 😎 – you must be magic — because I keep coming back to your profile.”
✅ “Hey — I tried to come up with a clever opener… but then I saw your picture and forgot everything.”
She’s Funny or Sarcastic
Try: ✅ “Hey – did I interrupt something important?”
✅ “Hey — I promise this won’t be boring.”
She’s Busy or Short With Messages
Try: ✅ “Hey — no rush, just wanted to say hi.”
✅ “Hey – figured I’d drop in and see if you’re still accepting new followers.”
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Q: Is it okay to start with “Hey”?
A: Yes — if you follow it up with something meaningful.
Q: What should I say after “Hey”?
A: Ask a question, mention something from her profile, or use light humor.
Q: Do emojis help in opening messages?
A: Used sparingly, yes — but avoid leading with them.
Q: Can “Hey” lead to a serious conversation?
A: Only if followed up with depth — otherwise, it fades fast.
Q: Should I always personalize my opener?
A: Absolutely. Personalized openers perform significantly better than generic ones.
Final Thoughts
There’s nothing wrong with starting with “Hey” — but how you follow up determines whether the conversation lives or dies.
This experiment proves that even the simplest words can carry weight — if delivered with care.
So next time you’re about to send a lazy “Hey,” ask yourself:
Can I say this in a way that shows I actually care who I’m talking to?
Because in the world of texting, intent matters more than punctuation .
And the right “Hey” can be the start of something great.
